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Dear Girl... We Have a Panty Problem

Dear Girl, Erin Pipes, gets to the heart of a young man's panty problem...

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by Erin Pipes, for outsideleft.com
originally published: April, 2007
My real concern is she's punishing you and no one's talking about it.

Dear Girl
I've always had a fetish with panties.. specially freshly worn ones. the scent of my girlfriends love zone makes me 'realy happy'. My favorite is to burry my face on her lap... soo goood.

since i've been with her, i've always liked sniffing her panties, freshly cleaned or worn.. i didn't care. sometimes she'd catch me and snatch her undies back and give me a 'ur a retard' look, then she's giggle bout it..

one day, after she's been at uni all day, and came home a few hours later than she said she would. i found a pair of panties in the bathroom while she was in the shower. It had alot of white crusty stuff on it, more than usual. First i just thought maybe she was really wet today. I just started to sniff untill she snatched it away and washed it immediatly. OK, now, she neva done that before...

that night i was refused 'good times'

i know her smell very well.. (of course ;P) but i only had a tiny wiff of a smell. maybe i'm just paranoid but i think i picked up somthing else... it was sweet,, but still somehting else ???

She's not having an affair, i trust that. but i'm starting to think maybe theres a fling.

Any way to tell if it's her white stuff or sumthing else just by looks?

i don't want to ask... but i'm kinda worried...

and yes, i do love her.

i've been without 'good times' for a week nearly.. she just refuses...

wtf is going on? how do i tell?? what do i / should i ask???

Many Thanks, Bruce Shit

Dear Heart,
Hmm, that's a puzzler, isn't it? I'm a sniffer, too. Anything my current love interest dirties, including their person, is fair game-- so I know where you're coming from.

I'll say this about women: we have our creamier days. Usually during ovulation, when the vagina is particularly bubbly. But maybe she'd just masturbated, too, through the panties? And, maybe also, she has an infection, and what you spied is either discharge or even leaked-out medication (which would explain her embarrassment, if that's what it is.) All possible scenarios.

Unfortunately, another possible scenario is that she's cheating on you, but here's the thing: have you ever smelled your own panties after a long day? Or your own load after coming into towel or fist, whathaveyou? You know what a man smells like, and how different that scent is than the scent of a woman, yeah? I'd think someone with a nose like yours would notice an obvious difference like another man's semen in your lady's cotton crotch.

My real concern is she's punishing you and no one's talking about it. Bottom line, I haven't seen or smelled the panties in question, and I don't know your girl. Maybe she's running around on you. Maybe she's infected. Maybe she's diddling her kitten while you're at work. Maybe she's tired of you sniffing her panties and that's why you're currently without 'good times'. If you really love this girl and want to be with her, you're going to have to learn to talk to her-- even about things that scare you. It's what relationship longevity is made of.

Now, quit pussyfooting and go sniff her out!

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