around 16,360,436 stories served since 2004  
get the weekly Outsideleft newsletter

MENSTRUATION IS RACIST... PERIOD


Tensions earlier erupted during campaigning in Las Vegas, Nevada, when Obama placed a ten-dollar bet on black.


Tensions earlier erupted during campaigning in Las Vegas, Nevada, when Obama placed a ten-dollar bet on black.

originally published: January, 2008

MENSTRUATION IS RACIST... PERIOD

Hillary Clinton's campaign for the Democratic nomination has been rocked by claims that she is in fact a woman.

An e-mail, sent to over fourteen thousand democrats early this morning, claims that the former senator knowingly participated in menstrual cycles throughout the 1980s, and openly purchased fanny pads and "sticky-uppy contraptions" during this time.

The Clinton campaign issued a strongly worded statement within hours: "Hillary has never - and would never - buy a fanny-pad. Hillary has a penis just like every other candidate, and this is clearly an ill-advised publicity stunt to try and fool the electorate into thinking he is actually a woman, which we all know is absolutely ridiculous."

Commentators commentated that the comments may have been a crudely veiled attempt by main rival Barack Obama to draw attention from Clinton-camp accusations that he is a racist in lambs clothing. Though no one understood the slur, commentators were quick to pick up on it.

Tensions earlier erupted during campaigning in Las Vegas, Nevada, when Obama placed a ten-dollar bet on black. Clinton retaliated by placing an equal bet on red, saying "You racist bastard, I can't believe you just did that."

When the ball stopped on green, leading Republican candidates attempted to capitalise on the Democrats' turmoil, issuing a joint statement saying: "If you're a democrat, and you're thinking of voting, well... If you don't want the women and the blacks making your decisions, don't vote - it's as simple as that."

Chris Connolly

Chris Connolly writes from Dublin, Ireland. Allegedly he is not as dangerous as he reads. His first collection of short stories, 'Every Day I Atrophy' (the SideCartel) is available now. If you need to know more about Chris Connolly, he has an excellent and excellently informative website here chrisconnollywriter.com

Sign up for outsideleft's weekly newsletter

get a selection of new stories and archive items in your mailbox, every week. Or less.

 

View previous campaigns.

Paris Hilton: The Girl Can't Help It
Paris Hilton does a Burger Commercial. So what's all the fuss about? Meat is Murder? Bentley Abuse? What?
What if Hunter s. Thompson formed a band?
Dantanna's brand of self-styled hedonism blows up and blows your house down.
Fancylad's Style Guide for the Modern Cad
Alex Chilton Dead
Musical legend and one of the greatest songwriters ever bites the dust
300 Words From London: AFC Morrissey at Wembley
Morrissey played Wembley. Lake couldn't keep away. He tried. Honest.
Behind the Counterculture #22: Robbie Williams
Some of our favorite things...