around 16,416,252 stories served since 2004  
get the weekly Outsideleft newsletter


Mitt's still got Fistfuls of his Own Dollars to spend. There aren't many people left with a reason to give him any of theirs.

Mitt's still got Fistfuls of his Own Dollars to spend. There aren't many people left with a reason to give him any of theirs.

originally published: February, 2008


I still don't believe you can't buy the Presidency and I'm nowhere near alone in that. Mitt Romney has spent money like he was a member of the UK Olympic committee tasked with building the disposable stadia of the 2012 games. Mitt's money has simply not bought him enough love. He has spent plenty to amass several silver medals and a couple of asterisked golds. The medal thing, in case you're not watching, is his analogy. Don't know whether he used it last time out in Florida while accepting silver on the podium even though he had paid for gold.

And now Mitt arrives on the morn of SupaTuesday™ staring at horrible opinion polls everywhere in the land, except... California. As it should be, a good tan covers a multitude of sins in California. I'd wager a good tan against an aging silver-haired baldy anytime. Those Westsiders, they'll always give you a shot so long as you fit the identikit. That you may in some ways be totally facile doesn't count for so much in California. If anything. If you don't believe in anything. Oh well. Mitt's still got Fistfuls of his Own Dollars to spend. There aren't many people left with a reason to give him any of theirs.

Shockingly, Mitt's last remaining opponents come from the untouchable class of the Republican party, these Dalits are Messrs Huckabee and McCain. Watching TV with the sound down - as one might think all Republicans have for about 30 years, makes it impossible to discern the attraction these men have for the voters. Romney, named after the famed breed of sheep, is often accused of bleating just about anything to win. There's nothing wrong with telling the electorate what they want to hear. But he must be sitting beneath his duvet of dollars in a Four Seasons hotel somewhere, staring at the TV, wondering how in the hell this happened to him this year. The wash-up McCain's Blow-Back and Huckabee, the Colonel Tom Parker of the race, bruising him with his class warfare. The Threat was supposed to come from Guiliani.

Pugnacious, 'Rocky' McCain is behaving as if the entire primary process is a Wii training session. Sure he may be 100 but he's batting, bowling and golfing like he is 75. My initial Wii training age was 32, but I play the real game like a calcified 70 year old. A McCain win means FoxNews doesn't have a horse in the race. They don't. They loathe the underclasses and they've loathed him the most after Huckabee.

On the other side of the coin, the HillBillys will make one more push. Play one more race card most likely or whatever it takes to get the job done. It will take them close to the top. It's been said loudly by Republicans, "Now do you see why we hated Bill Clinton so much..." Erm, because he won't lie down and lose easily? Watching this from abroad, it seems pointless that the Clintons would go on towards what feels like the ultimate pyrrhic victory. I mean literally. They've torched their coalition and its not easy to celebrate a Presidency in the making with historically low approval ratings. Are Presidents getting the job done if they don't have the public on their side? If they win. It's already sullied in the eyes of even their own supporters. A November victory would be a win for expediency. Somehow. I think. Unless they bring me around. In the meantime in California, Hillary, Slate (I think) suggested - the more people see of her, the more they want to vote for somebody else and that somebody is...

Barack obama california poster artBarack Obama (great California poster art - should scare anyone over 40) remains the lone the superstar in the race who gets a checkmark in every box. Youthful, energetic, tenacious, counterpuncher (although who knows against Rocky), smart, educated, inspirational. He looks like America the Beautiful once so revered. He papers nicely over cracks that might soon be fissures between the haves and the have-nots. It's blissful. He's the smartest man in the room. So why does the prize seem just out of reach. Tantalizingly close. The hopeful amongst us will be burdened with that awful sense of foreboding all day long. In the UK the TV talkers say he needed another week. What do they know now that I don't?

Oh and there's prospect of the Democratic nomination being decided by the Supreme Court, as the supremes painstakingly triangulate electability, likability and vulnerability of the Democratic candidates. Oh they'll know all about the Dems candidates abilities, they'll just need to know how poorly those stack up against the prevailing republican candidate before deciding whether or not Hillary can flout previously agreed to rules and make a grab for the previously non-existent Florida delegates.

SuperTuesday as previewed on UK TV


publisher, lamontpaul is currently producing a collection of outsideleft's anti-travel stories for the SideCartel, with a downloadable mumbled word version accompanied by understated musical fabulists, the frozen plastic

Sign up for outsideleft's weekly newsletter

get a selection of new stories and archive items in your mailbox, every week. Or less.


View previous campaigns.

We Will All Die When Our Ship Comes In
The end of the world has never sounded so appealing as it does when Current 93's David Tibet hurries you to the exit
The Top 12 Hottest Female Guitarists Ever
The Eccentric Millionaire Chronicles
Chapter One of Kelsey Osgood's new Outsideleft serial, The Eccentric Millionaire Chronicles
300 Words From London: Grace Jones Meltdown
Grace Jones at the Royal Festival Hall. Still stomping in disco high heels at 60.
Steve Reich: Life, Death and Agitated Particles
Alex V. Cook has an epiphany over some microwaved rice cakes and the throbbing cosmology of composer Steve Reich
My Love is Bigger Than Your Love
Like most things too good to last, Mclusky still proves that their band is better than your band from the grave.
Some of our favorite things...