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YEAH, HERE COMES THE WATERWORKS - VELVET REVOLVER R.I.P.

by Alex V. Cook
originally published: April, 2008

Do any women at all hang around backstage at an arcade fire show?


Do any women at all hang around backstage at an arcade fire show?

YEAH, HERE COMES THE WATERWORKS - VELVET REVOLVER R.I.P.

story by Alex V. Cook
originally published: April, 2008

9:40 AM lamontpaul: Alex, I've just heard that Velvet Revolver have split... saw some comments on a web site and it was like the passing of a great boy band. When Take That split up at least one EuroTeen took it as a cue to take their own life.

9:42 AM Alex: Were Velvet Revolver ever really a band? I thought they were an aftershock, like from one of those California earthquakes we always hear about

9:44 AM lamontpaul: I didn't know they, Velvet Revolver were anything to be excited about. Then I saw them on Conan and he seemed more thrilled by their appearance than he usually is for hard rockin' bands I think. So I wondered what that was all about. But only after the split up did I take any interest in them. Like the Seinfield show. Joined in for the series finale.

9:44 AM Alex: cocaine, perhaps? or that their appearance summoned better looking women hanging around backstage than, say, Arcade Fire would?

9:46 AM lamontpaul: Do any women at all hang around backstage at an arcade fire show?

9:47 AM
lamontpaul: Could this mean, at last, the reunion of... Guns?

9:47 AM Alex: well, Scott Weiland left a couple years back to reform Stone Temple Pilots, did his replacement leave to go back to form Wasted Youth or wherever he was from

I think the anticipation of a GNR reunion is much better than the product would be. I mean, I've heard those Chinese Democracy tapes floating around

9:47 AM lamontpaul: Scott ended up breaking up the band now in 2008, with his 'behavioural' problems

9:47 AM Alex: maybe they are waiting to see how the B-52's re-re-invention turns out

9:49 AM lamontpaul: it is still rocknroll isn't it? What they supposedly ply? He should be allowed some non polo shirt and cargo pants moments

9:49 AM Alex: Boy George has probably had to text Axl Rose a number if times: trust me, they will love you so much more if you don't do anything

9:50 AM lamontpaul: Well the Indiana Pacers won't be making the NBA play offs so Axl will be at a loose end.

9:51 AM Alex: I jest, I confess to enjoying the occasional Velvet revolver track

9:51 AM lamontpaul: well. you and your catholic taste or is that your joke?

9:52 AM Alex: like the actual Catholics, imperious and due for a reformation no doubt

but how does VR break up? did they all get notices from their agents

9:52 AM lamontpaul: bands like Guns, Velvet Revolver when you see them, really, doesn't it make you just wish the guitar factory had been closed down years ago

9:54 AM Alex: or at least a no shirts, no cocaine policy was enforced

9:55 AM lamontpaul: I am beginning to think that I know way too much about the VR break up I should be doing some accounting function instead

9:55 AM Alex: I think you are more shook up by it than you are willing to admit

it's OK, grief hits you in strange ways.

9:56 AM Alex: a shot of Jack Daniels and a round of Guitar hero will sort you out

I'll say this as a benediction to them: velvet Revolver was a far better fake band than Stone Temple Pilots ever were

9:57 AM lamontpaul: Really? Slash parting company with Scott isn't like when who was it left Van Halen. The blonde guy with the corkscrew perm

I once bought his solo record and had my then g/f perm my hair, really hard into corkscrews

9:58 AM lamontpaul: it didn't work at all they just dropped straight out, so I considered the solo record project a flop and returned it to the store

9:58 AMAlex: I didn't think a sammy hagar perm was physically possible

9:58 AM lamontpaul: It isn't

9:58 AM Alex: its non-euclidean in its geometry, like silly putty

9:58 AM lamontpaul: Stone Temple Pilots they were the sad arse end of grunge

that they had some Seattle connection made me actually hate Nirvana all the more

for spawning them ins some respects I'd say

STP. The other Mother Love Bone

9:58 AM Alex: which itself was the arse end of people who loved Guns N Roses for the wrong reasons

9:58 AM lamontpaul: OMG everywhere in LA was full of people who looked like they were in those bands

9:58 AM Alex: wasn't it too hot down there for all that flannel?

10:00 AM lamontpaul: Not good times for white belts, shoes and polyester pants - although there was little competition at the second hand hypermarkets for such a wardrobe

10:00 AM Alex: here in Louisiana, people have always kinda looked like that

10:00 AM lamontpaul: but a premium n flannel yes

on

flannel. Yes it was too hat

hot

suddenly I can't type

10:00 AM Alex: you are choked up!

here is what I offer in benediction to Velvet Revolver:

oh wait, I already said it

10:02 AM Alex: maybe that is the real benediction

Alex V. Cook

Alex V. Cook listens to everything and writes about most of it. His latest book, the snappily titled Louisiana Saturday Night: Looking for a Good Time in South Louisiana's Juke Joints, Honky-Tonks, and Dance Halls is an odyssey from the backwoods bars and small-town dives to the swampside dance halls and converted clapboard barns of a Louisiana Saturday Night. Don't leave Heathrow without it. His first book Darkness Racket and Twang is available from SideCartel. The full effect can be had at alex v cook.com

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