Author of the new, critically acclaimed novel, Out of Office, Mark Piggott declares himself to be a less than dedicated shopper. We're not so sure. Toy Piano's and top glasses... two happy moments among many.
1) What was the last electrical appliance you bought?
It was either a toy piano for my daughter that has some happenin' beats or a mobile phone I am sadly unable to operate. I'd love one of those machines that converts records and tapes to digital but my using one would probably result in a complete collapse of the space-time continuum.
2) How many shoes do you own?
An odd number, but no more than nine - and that counts trainers and steel toe-capped wellies.
3) Thinking about only what you are wearing now and including your watch, jewellery and glasses if you wear them, how much would it cost me to get dressed up just like you? And where would I have to go to get the look?
My glasses were expensive - a writer needs eyes, I feel. They were £120(pounds), my watch was handed down from a great uncle and my wedding ring was CENSORED BY WIFE. My wife buys my trackie bottoms at Littlewoods, but I don't think they're something Lady Gaga would necessarily crave. If you want to get my look you'd probably need to go to a haunted bedsit in 1983, with "story of the blues" on the radio and pie butties for tea - again...
4) What are you going to be eating for dinner tonight?
Curry, curry, curry and rice. I'm an addict - in India I gained a stone in two weeks. If there are no curry makings, a nice pie butty will do nicely. Chicken & mushroom is best. I also like Fray Bentos but am unable to open the tin.
5) What is the most amount you have ever spent on a bottle of wine or other alcoholic beverage and when and where was it?
I spend a lot of money on alcohol, but I like my bargains - our local shop does six cans of cider or two bottles of white wine for a fiver. My best mate is always on about the latest Chilean red he just bought for the GDP of Bolivia but I don't really taste the difference as my taste buds have been seared by decades of curry abuse and piping hot pie butties (see above).
6) What and where is your favourite shop?
I don't shop (rather invalidating this interview) so it's more a question of when - Groove Records in Halifax circa 1982 was brilliant, run by this old guy who knew all the latest GBH, Abrasive Wheels and Blitz records before anyone else did. I still have all those old albums but as the kids wrecked my turntable the neighbours are safe - until I buy a vinyl converter...
7) How do you get around town?
By Oyster (card). Best invention ever, though on the downside, Boris Johnson always knows exactly where I am, which is embarrassing as he's the jealous type.
8) Where is your favourite place to holiday?
Prior to having kids it would be somewhere relatively adventurous like India or Indonesia, now it's the no-less adventurous Clacton caravan park or yet another Spanish resort. I think I like Fremantle in Australia best but it's a long way away. Maybe if it was closer I wouldn't like it?