For an absolute age now we've been in love with community discos. An act of self harm I sometimes think as I tear away at my hamstrings, dancing way beyond my ever diminishing physical capabilities. I am possibly not the first person to be referred to the Elite Sports Injuries Clinic at the QE because of a community disco thanks to my artless behaviour on the dancefloor. And may not the last. It's so irresistible, dancing at the community disco.
There's a trick to the community disco. Knowing your community helps. And the outsiders, the carpet baggers bursting into the scene and sensing something so good, oh how the outsiders come along and proffer their ideas for self-indulgent dj sets or a couple of numbers from their folk duo at the exact moment the dance floor is rocking relentlessly to Geno. That exact time, around 11 or so, although time slips by so quickly you'd never know, they'd have us recoiling on the leatherette banquets with our very cheap community disco pints of vodka and tonic without ice or fruit, instead of stripping out our sinewy bits from the bone. Alongside Dobie Gray, I have to say, these days, I get my kicks out on the floor.
But I can't get up on those toes like I used to in my faux northern soul days but it's dandy to find a few who still can. Now for my main moves, I rely pretty much, pretty heavily on everything Magic Mike ever taught me. That slick move to slip out of my imaginary chaps in one fell swoop. Like Magic Mike showed me. That's my move.
I can barely comfortably button my thrift store Paul Smith shirt but it's worth the effort as for everyone the dressing up for the community disco has taken some thought. I hear that. Truly. What are you wearing texts of the like I hadn't heard since texts actually came in as phone calls over a party line in Whitnash.
Mr. Lake described the aging audience at a Green on Red comeback or anniversary gig as having lost that sort of instinctive swerve of the hips that helps avoid losing your beer to the bumping crowds. Remember when you could do that?
Anyway it's all over by 12, it's all over bar the speaking quietly with friends again about seeing them in the playground on Monday morning and then stumbling gloriously out into the night, youth not really revisited at all.
If there's not a Community Disco nr you, there's the B67 at Cork's in Bearwood, Saturday November 19th. £4 admission with all proceeds to the Smethwick Food Bank and please bring canned food for the same Food Bank.
Smethwick Food Bank