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Paris is Burning

Paris cooking, it's the first time Alarcon smiles in 2020...

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by Alarcon, for outsideleft.com
originally published: January, 2020
"Put a top on it and let it simm-a..."
by Alarcon, for outsideleft.com
originally published: January, 2020
"Put a top on it and let it simm-a..."

In what seems more like an SNL skit than a cooking show, Paris Hilton returns with Cooking With Paris. It’s really good... Whoa, whoa -- stay with me. 

Cooking with Paris will not reveal any insight into the culinary arts. The purpose of Cooking with Paris isn’t edification, it’s entertainment, and Paris knows this. It’s in the knowing looks she gives the camera, almost as if to say, “I’m calling this a cooking show, but you and I both know I’m just dipping my toe back into the trudges of celebrity to show all these poor imitations of me how it’s done.” 

The Kardashians, the Real Housewives, the Bachelors, the Bachelorettes, Geordie Shore, or whatever the British mutated the Real World into... -- they wouldn’t exist without Hilton.

Make no mistake. The Paris Hilton we don’t see could be a pretty fucked up person for all we know, but aren’t we all? We all have our things... But in 2020, Hilton, wearing fingerless cooking gloves(?!), wandering around her massive kitchen, and warning us not to break the pasta lest we “ruin the lasagne vibe,” is positively charming. It’s the first thing that has made me genuinely smile in 2020. 

Paris Coco Tea Towel

A Paris hand towel. Another declares 'allergic to bullshit' as Paris says, "aren't we all."

When she poured scalding hot grease, drained from several pounds of ground chuck, into her kitchen sink, all I could think of what a pleasent life Paris must live, to live and not giving a fuck about anything.

So right now, all I want is Paris Hilton, and I hope this is a series, but by the way this pilot episode was produced, this could be a one and done. It’s almost as if Hilton woke up, had her assistant round up a few people with no production experience, and had fun in making an entree she was probably going to make anyway. As if to flex the muscle. 


Essential Info:
7:10 "careful if you have long hair it could light on fire."
 

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Alarcon

Alarcon co-founded outsideleft with lamontpaul in 2004. His work for o/l has attracted the attention of hundreds of thousands of readers, oh and probably the fbi too.

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