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Ancient Champion: Hook The Rabbit Tsar Baker A taste for animals in brass, or brass-like alloys, ceramics and wood

Ancient Champion: Hook The Rabbit Tsar Baker

A taste for animals in brass, or brass-like alloys, ceramics and wood

by Ancient Champion, Columnist
first published: January, 2022

approximate reading time: minutes

Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Hooks

I happened upon it in a Brighton backstreet this past summer while I was still going through that Orson Welles on Holiday phase. That’s mercifully over, Ms. Champ (who never ever calls herself that) and the Champ child (who never ever calls herself that) say. Kinda liked that look. The hat, the haircut, the raincoat. Don’t take me to Beachy Head on an overcast day if you don’t like that look because I for one think it ideal for that environ, far better than the archetypal hiking boot and cargo shorts combo. That is awful isn’t it? The blight of the British summer time.

This bunny was to be a simple tea towel hook. For the linen-cotton commemorative types, mainly, I’d imagined.  Nothing more major than that was my intention and hope. Yet a few weeks in and the tea towels have been conjoined by hand towels too. Subsumed by them. Okay, we can surmise that these hand towel types can be a little heavier in construction, zero twist cotton instead of ring-spun and while that’s an interesting, more absorbing hand towel innovation, worth a momentary ponder, let’s not forget the space acquired by the Tsar Baker Cooking Apron too.

I know you’ll be considering that, even still, that’s just a few lightweight items, where’s the problem? Where? Right now the kitchen door is made from the type of pine that Dave from Regency Antiques, who is the final word in Victorian Doors, told me was of a pine grade so low, deal he called it, the Victorians would’ve only used it to burn in their fires.

“The timber used for construction work in the 19th century and early 20th would have been cut from slow-grown crop and seasoned for decades before use.” Dave, Regency Antiques

And that’s the thing, put too much weight on the shoulders of the two little screws pinning the rabbit to the door and everything, everything on God’s Green Earth will come tumbling down.

I’ve seen it happen before.

DaphneFinally an image of newer saltnpeppa dispensers, which resemble Daphne and are designed by Hannah Turner, supplanting our previous set that resembled Margo (RIP Way too soon) and were making every meal time sad.

Found. Older NYC guidebooks.

old guide

Went record shopping with Mr Hayhurst, the artist who designed my book cover. This great graffiti was across the street from the closed by the time we arrived record store, making it worth the trip anyhow.


I’m down. Oh well. Not even surrounding myself with Animal trinkets can puncture the clouds of self recrimination for being alive.

Essential Info
Photos: rabbit hook, cat pepper, pots daphne main image her leaf thing.

Ancient Champion

Ancient Champion writes for OUTSIDELEFT while relentlessly recording and releasing instrumental easy listening music for difficult people. The Champ is working on Public Transport, a new short story collection that takes up where 2021's Six Stories About Motoring Nowhere (Disco City Books) left off. It should be ready in time for the summer holidays. More info at

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