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What happend the second week of May?

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by Alarcon, for outsideleft.com
originally published: May, 2005
The clothes, the hair, the facial histrionics - it all just made me want to go out and kick someone's ass.

A look back at this past week's interesting parts.

Stones Announce Another Tour
Now I've never seen the Stones as I believe that they hit their prime before I was born (about the time old Brian Jones took his final swim) nor have I ever had the inclination to shell out the $100 it takes to buy a cheap seat at the local stadium they tend to play when they come through town, but fuck if I'm not interested all of a sudden. I mean, the Glimmer Twins are both 62 years old - that's senior status in the States. How fascinating is it going to be to see Mick prance around doing that peacock strut - and you know he's going to do it. So they did it, they convinced me - I'm shelling out my cash for tickets to this tour...f I can't get press passes.

David Chapelle In South African Rehab
David Chapelle isn't that funny - there, I said it. Sure, he's come up with some catchy bits: the "I'm Rick James, bitch" (every annoying frat boy's mating call) and the R. Kelly skit. Other than that, not so funny. But the show got popular, Comedy Central threw $50,000,000 at him to come up with two more seasons and naturally, he cracks under pressure. Frankly, I think him hiding out in some strange rehab center in a South African village is the funniest thing he's ever done.

System of a Down on Saturday Night Live
I still can't get over how shitty System of a Down was on Saturday Night Live this past weekend. It was so bad, I figure I had to listen to a few of their new songs (the ones the band sung on the show that night) just to see if they were having a bad gig and fuck if the songs were just as bad in studio form as they were live. I mean, I can appreciate a theatrical rock and roll performance such as everything Queen did, KISS or The Darkness, but System of a Down is a bad comical joke. The clothes, the hair, the facial histrionics - it all just made me want to go out and kick someone's ass.

Constantine Maroulis/Pray For The Soul Of Betty Album Release
This gem was released this past Tuesday and it kills me that it's going to sell hundreds of thousands of copies because of American Idol contestant Constantine Maroulis - you know the one: the oily, swarthy Greek kid. I don't know why this is newsworthy or why I'm even mentioning it, thus somehow giving it that much more notoriety, it's just that I really hate everything Constantine Maroulis stands for. And the thing that kills me is that there are actually girls - hot girls - who think this charlatan is good looking - handsome even. Of course, maybe I just included this one because I wanted a 500-word word count for this article.

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Alarcon co-founded outsideleft with lamontpaul in 2004. His work for o/l has attracted the attention of hundreds of thousands of readers, oh and probably the fbi too.

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