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The Prognostications of our Boy Genius.

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by Ryan 'RJO' Stewart, for outsideleft.com
originally published: May, 2005
Revenge of the Sith WILL NOT be the last Star Wars film.

At least one publication - and the smart money's on Spin - will name The White Stripes' upcoming Get Behind Me Satan their Album of the Year. The album itself will be good, but definitely will not deserve that level of acclaim.

I realize I'm going out on a HUGE limb here at this point by saying this, but I'm predicting that Bo Bice is about to be named your American Idol. He earned it, frankly. I'm just glad we have a new Idol who looks like he's shared a bong with Nick Oliveri. Are we sure he isn't a long-lost Kirkwood brother?

Barry Bonds will not play baseball again. I don't think it's because of steroid testing directly, as some have suggested; I think it's more of a "lay low until this shitstorm passes"- kind of move. I think the case against him is about to get far worse than any of us realize. I don't think it's because he's afraid of a positive test or afraid of his performance dwindling without performance enhancers. That, of course, is just a theory.

Next year will be the year that Arrested Development blows up. Don't forget: it takes most sitcoms three years to hit their respective creative strides, and, blasphemous though it may sound, Arrested Development's first two seasons compare favorably with those of Seinfeld and The Simpsons. The viewers are finally going to follow. And kudos to Fox, by the way, for showing remarkable patience with the cult favorite.

Finally, Revenge of the Sith WILL NOT be the last Star Wars film. It will just be the last one Lucas is directly involved with. Years from now, he (or his estate) will authorize an adaptation of the next three novels in the series made by a young, likely European, sci-fi visionary. These films will, surprisingly, make a giant amount of money.

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