When a young woman finds herself universally derided then I am pretty sure she must be doing a lot of things right.
When the woman in question is unquestionably skinny and lanky, with size
11 feet (perhaps a definition of ungainly) and while her vital
statistics are a modest 34b-25-35 (Source: Celebrity Sleuth magazine)
and girls all around her like that would be cosmetically enhanced in a
heartbeat and she likens that enhancement to scarification, "If you
have a beautiful face you don't need big fake boobs to get anyone's
attention." and.Regards 'sexy' thus, "No matter what a woman looks
like, if she's confident, she's sexy."
What's not to love, right?
Even in these pages a few weeks ago, in a review of the movie House of
Wax, I read the most awful vulgar quip levelled against her and I had
to check that the byline wasn't James Dobson. In these cosseted
times, she has arguably become the most compelling woman in pop since
Madonna. She parties, she has sex - and yeah like for a lot of young
women, talking to your friends on the phone can be more fun...
She loses her cell phone, she does things because she wants to... She's
a great role model for girls and boys. She maintains a non-conformist
lifestyle because she can afford to. After all, there'll never be a
revolution without the Banks. Generally of course money of her type
moves silently and makes deals in darkened, wood panelled rooms. She's
rich and she can't help it. Instead she puts it all out there in
a way rich girls never have.
And then she strong-arms a million from the producers of the forthcoming dud 'Pledge This'? She just got richer.
Whenever I see her on TV, on Leno or Letterman, I have no idea
what she is talking about and that's a good thing. She defines a
generation gap. No other celebs or tattooed pierced hair-dyed blase
behavior statements ever have. This woman makes me feel comfortably old.
Selected as the worst-dressed celebrity in 2003 by fashion critic Mr.
Blackwell, who is apparently knowledgable about youngster's fashions as only a man desperate to remain in the slimelight can.
And she loves animals: When I am walking around on 2nd Street and I see those boys hanging
around outside the hair salon with the little dog on a leash while
their pseudo Paris gf's get their roots touched up inside, it makes me feel
happy. Poor saps. Of course, seeing the throng of dogs on the arms fo
teenaged girls is a tiresome trend. It's good to love animals, but at
least make them walk.
And now there's the Carl's Jr. commercial and the reams of derision
rained down upon her and the company for it. Here's an exchange (widely
reported elsewhere):
"This commercial is basically soft-core porn," said Melissa Caldwell,
research director for the PTC. "The way she moves, the way she puts her
finger in her mouth - - it's very suggestive and very titillating."
The group needs to "get a life," said Andy Puzder, CEO of Carl's
Jr., "This isn't Janet Jackson - - there is no nipple in this.
There is no nudity, there is no sex acts - - it's a beautiful model in a
swimsuit washing a car... She's very appealing to our demographic,"
which he described as young, hungry guys.
Online, no longer attractive moms are offended for their children,
given their vitriol - (or could it be the child as beard phenomenon?
They're at least as offended as we are by their mom-jeans). Search for some of the comments. It's all angst about children.
It makes me wonder about these children and these parents. You know,
you could have exposed me to no end of Miss World swim suit contests as
a child and I would still be far more concerned with planning the
perfect execution of an offside trap as the left back for St. Joseph's.
Who are these parents who think their children will instantaneously
somehow become interested in washing the family wagon in their bathing
suit? Most likely it won't happen. Shame, since more kids should be
asking their dads why he doesn't get them a Bentley and can they please
have a dad who will.
This might be the Best advert for a burger since Elvis Presley. It 's
certainly the best celebrity car washing scene since Mariah Carey took
the Sponge to Snoop's car in her Heartbreaker video.
Check out the website SpicyParis.com
Now is my wedding invite in the mail?