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Big Dog Training A new poem by Wayne Dean-Richards

Big Dog Training

A new poem by Wayne Dean-Richards

by Wayne Dean-Richards,
first published: March, 2023

approximate reading time: minutes

Big Dog Training is taken from Wayne Dean-Richards forthcoming collection It's A Mad World, But Funny

Wayne Dean-Richards has shared 18 poems for us to publish during 2023. The collection is called It's a Mad World, But Funny. Eventually there will be a free, downloadable PDF of all the poems and a planned A6 compendium too. (Links to all of the poems way down the page.)


big dog training

we’ve taken her
to the big dog training group
for the first time.

it’s in a church hall
with, depending on your view,
very little or enormous evidence of god.

the trainer snarls
at us
as if he, too, is a big dog.

He seems suspicious,
and even more so when I tell him
our dog’s name is Brute.

we like poodles.
“Brute?” the trainer says.
that’s all,

doesn’t
have to say more,
because the expression

on his cloud-grey face
says it for him.
he tries to talk us

out of joining big dog club,
but we insist Brute has outgrown
small dog club.

he thinks for a minute,
then his face lights up -
sort of.

there’s a club
that’d be perfect
for us he tells us.

it’s run by a Mrs Guest.
it’s for
intermediate dogs.

Brute barks to show she
doesn’t like being thought of as
an intermediate dog

so, we dig our heels in
and against his better judgement
the trainer lets us stay.

we feel victorious -
despite the nearby sneers of those with
bigger dogs than Brute -

until Brute has
an accident that the trainer

steps in.

“Out!” he yells.
but we
were already gone.

and if such a thing
was possible,
Brute was grinning.

© Wayne Dean-Richards


Essential Info
The 18 poems comprising Wayne Dean-Richards' IT'S A MAD WORLD BUT FUNNY series are listed below.  Outsideleft will be publishing them all throughout 2023. A free downloadable PDF and a limited edition A6 Outsideleft Booklet (for neither profit or loss) of these poems will be available at the end. But not till the end. I am pretty sure that means November...


Wayne Dean-Richards

Wayne Dean-Richards works with short stories and the novel. His work has been published in magazines and anthologies in the UK and the US. Some of that work can be found in his collection Cuts, available here


about Wayne Dean-Richards »»

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