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An Onanistic Incidence of Narcissism...

An Onanistic Incidence of Narcissism...

by LamontPaul, Founder & Publisher
first published: June, 2005

approximate reading time: minutes

A half year guide to the biggest stories so far in outsideleft

I can imagine you were expecting a poem, instead, because there's nothing we like to do more than enlighten, unless it is actually patting ourselves on the back, Alarcon and I realized that the 15th or so, June would mark the end of six months of labor and toil in bringing outsideleft to you. As events amazing, horrific, thrilling and trivial unfolded across the world, those events went generally ignored by us... We recommend Slate, Defamer and if you don't have a wireless laptop, Harper's (print edition) for the powder room, for all that other stuff. "Can I get an outside line?" Is not something I think I've ever heard in our office...

We have an amazing cast of people who listen and look and write about it afterwards. The regular contributors who make this happen, who keep coming back with more. Alex, Joe, Erin, Henderson, Ryan and anyone else I've left out. With special thanks to Kirk who runs London and is quite responsible for a lot of this.

Most of all thanks to all of our readers, you've read our stories a hundred thousand times or so in the past six months; Given our zero dollar budgets and backsliding lethargy, we'll take that. We have our fingerprints on the world wide web now. We might not let go.

Below is our Top 20 most read stories of the past six months, with yet another exhortation by the author (or one of their friends).

  1. Dynamic Homoerotic Duos: Part 1 by Alarcon (March 24th)
    Defamer picked this up and linked to it on a Friday afternoon and the scores went off the charts because they have readers.
  2. Outsideleft Poll Results by Alarcon (January 24th)
    Our first ever readers poll was fun and fixed around the intelligence of our readers...
  3. Your Hall Pass to the Grand Ole Opry by Alex V. Cook (May 25th)
    Alex's review of Dwight Yoakam new record 'Blame the Vain' brought in lot of readers.
  4. Oops, I Think I'm Pregnant by Alarcon (January 15th)
    Fledgling advice story from the stay at home dad...
  5. From the Moshpit #5: Pete and Shane's, secret St. Patrick's Show by Joe Ambrose (March 21st)
    This was almost a world exclusive had Libertine fans dropping by in droves
  6. An Open Love Letter to the Drive-By Truckers by Alex V. Cook (March 16th)
    This review is quoted by Trucker fans as being one of the best they've read ever from a true fan.
  7. There's Something About Charlize by Alarcon (Jan 15th)
    Article #1 and still well loved... Alarcon's history of hobnobbing with the stars has paid off time and time again!
  8. Sex & the Industry by Jennifer Lynn (March 22nd)
    Jennifer Oh Jennifer! Lost it seems after writing this treatise on porno practitioners...
  9. The 10 Greatest Gangbanger Movies - - Ever by Alarcon (March 1st)
    The Authority on many things gang bangin' especially when you suspend disbelief at the movies...
  10. Contest Pit Er Pat by Alex V. Cook (March 21st)
    In March we tried the Pit Er Pat contest. Couldn't give it away. So we tried and tried and tried it again and again...
  11. Writing about Punk Rock, Junk Rock, and Fag Rock by Joe Ambrose (March 25th)
    PSA from Joe Ambrose, how and what to read about rock'n'roll
  12. From the Moshpit #6: System of a Down by Joe Ambrose (April 11th)
    What we've learnt is, write about incredibly popular rock bands and get incredible results. Remember don't try this at home, Joe is the Moshpit Authority.
  13. Elizabeth Peyton by Joe Ambrose (March 11th)
    Joe Ambrose brought our first breakout story when he took a closer look at the painting of Elizabeth Peyton and in particular her revisiting of the Libertines album cover.
  14. Behind the Counterculture #14: Kate Moss by Lake (April 4th)
    We really love the Behind the Counterculture series - celebs caught nosing in and around a used book and record store in West London. Kate Moss' is a wildly popular episode.
  15. My Girlfriend's In Love With A Federline by Erin Pipes (May 12th)
    In May, critically acclaimed Erin Pipes brought her 'Dear Girl' column outsideleft and it was an instant hit.
  16. Sin City: Not to be Confused with "SimCity" by Ryan 'RJO' Stewart (April 1st)
    Another more recent addition to the outsideleft roster is Ryan Stewart. Sin City is just one of his many great features y'all enjoyed.
  17. Residency: Kitty and the Kowalskis by Lamont (March 1st)
    Residency is our way of promoting an artist we like for longer and getting into more facets of their business...
  18. My Night at an Orgy by Alarcon (February 15th)
    As Alarcon is always the first to tell me, Sex Sells... This was his Valentine's Day Special
  19. 10 Favorite Psychedelic Albums by Alex V. Cook (March 9th)
    Lists sell too...
  20. Did the Yanks go and Fuck Up Another UK Sitcom? by Ryan 'RJO' Stewart (March 25th)
    And swear words sell to some extent too...

Next week, 20 stories you may not have read since hardly anyone has, when we present the least popular stories in outsideleft ever.

Founder & Publisher

Publisher, Lamontpaul founded outsideleft with Alarcon in 2004 and is hanging on, saying, "I don't know how to stop this, exactly."

Lamontpaul portrait by John Kilduff painted during an episode of John's TV Show, Let's Paint TV

about LamontPaul »»



All About and Contributors


Outsideleft exists on a precarious no budget budget. We are interested in hearing from deep and deeper pocket types willing to underwrite our cultural vulture activity. We're not so interested in plastering your product all over our stories, but something more subtle and dignified for all parties concerned. Contact us and let's talk. [HELP OUTSIDELEFT]


If Outsideleft had arms they would always be wide open and welcoming to new writers and new ideas. If you've got something to say, something a small dank corner of the world needs to know about, a poem to publish, a book review, a short story, if you love music or the arts or anything else, write something about it and send it along. Of course we don't have anything as conformist as a budget here. But we'd love to see what you can do. Write for Outsideleft, do. [SUBMISSIONS FORM HERE]


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