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Never Loan Anyone Your Van Our last round up of 2023 is weaved into fiction and delivered by Alex V. Cook

Never Loan Anyone Your Van

Our last round up of 2023 is weaved into fiction and delivered by Alex V. Cook

by Alex V. Cook, Music Editor
first published: January, 2024

approximate reading time: minutes

Members of the band were at the 'naked puppet party' but kept their clothes on.

Once I heard David Byrne mention that Prince only listens to his own music, so David tried it that year. I think It was around the time of that samba-type album he did, which was a pretty good one, so it worked out. I’ve been working on a number of records this past year and feel I’ve only listened to myself pretending to be David Byrne pretending to be Prince all year, and when I wasn’t subjecting others to the latest mix of something, these were the records I leaned into in 2023, and the story they tell.

The finest quiet Americana 
Hayden Pedigo - The Happiest Times I Ever Ignored
Spencer Cullum - Spencer Cullum’s Coin Collection 2
Jeffery Silverstein - Western Sky Music
Rose City Band - Garden Party

Hayden Pedigo is getting his guitar off the patio before the rain starts.  Spencer Cullum and his adorable friends are already barefoot, dancing at the first sprinkle. Jeffery Silverstein is sitting on the porch watching the storm come in, then pulls out the good weed, only to find Rose City Band has already smoked said good weed, but has these mushrooms some dude gave them.

The finest loud Americana
Cory Hanson - Western Cum
Geese - 3D Country
MJ Lenderman - And the Wind (Loud and Loose!)

Cory Hanson is that dude with the mushrooms, that he grows in a special room fitted for such in his upstairs apartment. Geese lived in the downstairs apartment until they trashed it after their “naked puppet party” and were asked to leave. They borrowed MJ Lenderman’s van to move their shit.

The finest brainy not-really-Americana
@ - Mind Palace Music
Wilco - Cousins

Members of @ were at the ''naked puppet party' but kept their clothes on. One of the guys from Wilco owns the building and reluctantly had to kick Geese out, saying,  “Look, I get it,”  as they got back the keys. They may or may not sometimes collect rent from Cory in the form of mushrooms. 

The finest complicated non-regional music
feeble little horse - Girl With Fish
Wednesday - Rat Saw God

The members of feeble little horse hooked the Wilco guy up with Cory for the mushrooms, but somehow neither parties know where else they know feeble little horse from. Wednesday knows, but it’s kind of a grim story and right now, their guitarist MJ Lenderman has to get their van back from those idiots in Geese. 

The best busy year/public nervous breakdown
Damien Jurado - Motorcycle Madness
Damien Jurado - Passing the Giraffes
Damien Jurado - Sometimes You Hurt the Ones you Hate

“Never loan anyone your van,” offers Damien Jurado uselessly after the fact, but then asks if you want a baloney sandwich. He’s taking a lot longer in the kitchen than it seems like it should take, and there is some muffled swearing. But the sandwich does come and it is excellent

The best at keepin it going
The Mountain Goats - Jenny from Thebes
Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy - Keeling Secrets Will Destroy You.
Swans - The Beggar

“Oh yeah, the baloney sandwich!” says the Mountain Goats when you tell them about the encounter with Jurado. Then, they go into a long diatribe of their favorite baloney - it is some Eastern seaboard regional brand that has a tough red ring, but they are talking so fast that they say “balonely.” There is a sudden guffaw from Bonnie ‘Prince” Billy, who you had not noticed was sitting in the room until that moment. He picks up the Mountain Goats’ guitar and improvises a beautiful song “Balonley” while you and the Mountain Goats watch with equal measures of awe and annoyance and then he looks up and says, “Dude! Have you heard of this band Geese?”  Then everyone looks over at Swans, who also you did not notice in the room until now. No one wants to touch the Swans/Geese thing. They take a long moment, one longer than Damien Jurado with the sandwich, and ask, “Did they have that puppet party?”

Alex V. Cook
Music Editor

Alex V. Cook listens to everything and writes about most of it. His latest book, the snappily titled Louisiana Saturday Night: Looking for a Good Time in South Louisiana's Juke Joints, Honky-Tonks, and Dance Halls is an odyssey from the backwoods bars and small-town dives to the swampside dance halls and converted clapboard barns of a Louisiana Saturday Night. Don't leave Heathrow without it. His first book Darkness Racket and Twang is available from SideCartel. The full effect can be had at alex v
about Alex V. Cook »»

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