The month started kind of low key for Michael. He spent ¬£25 ($43) in the Books Etc. shop in Leatherhead, the town closest to his country pile. He also visited the Leatherhead Sainsburys supermarket where he splashed out ¬£65 ($113). Boots the Chemists got ¬£25. He paid Onetel, providers of reduced rate phonecalls to stingy suburbanites everywhere, the princely sum of ¬£11 ($19). All in all, he seemed to working on the basis that that if he looked after the pennies, the Pounds would look after themselves.
Caine is now a relatively vigorous 72 so it comes as no surprise to learn that he passes his days - when not making occasionally great but frequently abominable movies - wandering between the supermarket, the pharmacy, and the middlebrow book shop.
Back in the Sixties he was part of a gang of hard living thespian hellraisers along with Peter O'Toole, Richard Harris, and Richard Burton (Caine Jewish, the others Celts of one sort or another). Nightclubbing, lavish meals in celeb restaurants like Langan's Brassiere, fancy cars, and fancier women were the norm.
On March 21st he showed that, despite advancing years, party nights were not entirely off the agenda. He spent ¬£7706 ($13,428) at Annabell's, a glitzy Mayfair club and restaurant. This seemed like remarkably good going until I found out that his birthday falls on March 14th. Maybe he threw a birthday party.
Things calmed down after that until April 7th when he undertook a frenzy of London shopping, the movie star way.
First he visited Green and Stone on the Kings Road, Chelsea's Swinging Sixties hangout. Green and Stone style themselves, "Suppliers of specialist Art Materials and Picture Framing." Then he was off to Richard Ward, the British Hairdresser of the Year who runs a "pampering hot spot" which offers makeovers and hair dying services.
Allens, the Mayfair butchers who've provided "upmarket Londoners with scotch beef and quality game for over 170 years," were the next port of call. They got ¬£48 ($83), which probably paid for two lamb chops. Jo Malone who's "greatest challenge is changing the way we look at skin care and how we use fragrance," was also patronised, as was Chelsea Health Food.
Two days later it was back to dreary old Leatherhead and inevitable visits to Texaco, Sainsburys, and Boots.
The account was settled by Direct Debit on April 25th or soon after. Michael Caine has 36,583 Air Miles.
Joe Ambrose has written 12 books, the most recent being Chelsea Hotel Manhattan and The Fenian Reader. He is currently writing a book about the Spanish Civil War.