O U T S I D E L E F T   stay i n d e p e n d e n t

Can You Suggest a Non-Phallic Vibrator?

get the weekly Outsideleft newsletter
by Erin Pipes, for outsideleft.com
originally published: September, 2005
I have no preference and have dated every bush length from King of the Overgrown Outback to Suburban Sculptured Gardens to Barren Lands.
by Erin Pipes, for outsideleft.com
originally published: September, 2005
I have no preference and have dated every bush length from King of the Overgrown Outback to Suburban Sculptured Gardens to Barren Lands.

Behold, "Dear Girl... - OutsideLeft's version of the tried and true sex column. Erin Pipes, the girl in "dear girl... is a fully qualified expert in the field of sex - mainly because she has the most of it on the staff - so rest assured, you're in good hands.

 

Dear Girl,

What do most of the ladies (in the 20 to 40 range) prefer when it comes to men's nether regions? Natural? Shaved? Partially shaved? I need specifics please. And since I'm on topic, what about the chest?

Thanks, Carl (San Diego, CA)

 

Carl, what I'm going to offer you is one of my standard (and frustrating) "Every girl wants something different." responses that seems like a cop-out but is just the plain truth.  Personally, I have no preference and have dated every bush length from King of the Overgrown Outback to Suburban Sculptured Gardens to Barren Lands and I loved it all, but that's not true for every girl.  Same goes with chest hairs and otherwise hairs, which I've always sort of considered unfortunate since, honestly, isn't it the person who matters? And shouldn't it not make a difference if you occasionally wind up with some pubic hair in your teeth in the name of love, or at the very least, hot sex?  If I were you, I would worry more about finding a girl who was down for anything you had to offer without you having to suddenly work bi-weekly Nair baths into your regimen, but that's just me.

 

+ + +

 

Dear Girl,

I have a basic vibrator (purple see-thru model from Good Vibes) and a magic wand which has served me well, but it way to big and cumbersome now that I have my new purple aerodynamic friend. My question is: Can you suggest something new? Something different from the traditional phallic vibrator?

Sincerely, Cheryl (Vegas)

 

Well, if you're looking for something other than phallic, I'm guessing it's for reasons of discretion because why vary from Mr. Purple Fabulous otherwise?  My favorite place for a more discreet toy has always been with the folks at Good Vibrations (http://www.goodvibes.com/) where there's an entire section of vibrators your grandmother would never suspect (or would she??).  From the adorable (rubber ducks and caterpillars) to the futuristic ergonomic models that look a little 90's cordless phone-ish, they literally have it all.  Surprisingly, and maybe stupidly on my part, I'm not even getting paid for this heartfelt endorsement.  Damn.

 

+ + +

 

Dear Girl,

The guy I'm dating has suggested to me to stimulate his prostate. I asked him how and even he doesn't know where it is (we know where it is, but we don't know "where" it is exactly). All he suggests is "once you're in there, feel around and I'll let you know." Is there a more scientific way to find it?

Kelly (Alhambra, CA)

 

Hmm-- well, if you're looking for all the scientific prostate ins and outs, I'd start at http://www.prostateinfo.com/. Yes, an entire website devoted to the Male Walnut of Love.  If you're looking for the Cliff's Notes version of pleasing your way into your boy's backdoor, however, it takes less a student of ass than a particularly sensitive finger.  Basically, the prostate is located behind the male bladder, pressing against the wall that separates it from the rectum.  Get boyfriend on his back and grab the lube - - then work your way into his rear entry with maybe just your middle finger at first (since it allows the furthest reach.) Aim for the back and a little downward turn of that finger and you'll suddenly feel the texture change from very slick to rough and raised, kind of wrinkled. No kidding, rather walnutty feeling. Even if you're not completely studied and still don't know exactly where or what you're shooting for, it's still incredibly fun to go at it blindly - - you'll get there eventually, trust me - - and watch his expression change from puzzled and/or uncomfortable to blissed-out drool-baby.  Yum.

 

+ + +

 

Gotta problem? Of course you do. Send them in email form to Dear Girl (or as we at the office call her, Erin) at info@outsideleft.com. Our intern-monkeys will be sure to pass them on to her.

see more stories from outsideleft's Sports Sex & Health archive »»

more stories you really could read...


thumb through the ancient archives:

search for something you might like...


sign up for the outsideleft weekly. a selection of new and archived stories every week. Or less.

View previous campaigns.

Send in The Clown (The One With the Guillotine)
101 Words about Big Jim
Celebrating Brion Gysin and William Burroughs
Destroy All Rational Thought is a documentary film based around the Here To Go Show that took place in Ireland in the early 1990s. We talk to one of its co-creators about the newly remastered DVD
I'll Give You An Annual Review #22...
22. The Beatles - The Beatles (AKA The White Album), Super Deluxe Version
A Small Part of the World According To Momus
Jason Lewis draws back the veil, a little, on the enigma that is the prolifically eclectic, Momus
Sickening of the Calm
THEY SICKEN OF THE CALM WHO KNOW THE STORM, featuring Greta Alfaro, Julia Chiang, James Clar, Richard Garet, Naama Tsabar, Dustin Yellin and Pryce Lee at the Fridman Gallery, New York
Some of our favorite things...