Jimmy White is appearing at the bar just across the way from my house. For those not resident in the UK, White is a legendary snooker player; nicknamed "The Whirlwind" on account of the speed with which he can pot the balls.
Longside fellow badboy Alex "Hurricane" Higgins, White was a superstar of the 1980s. So its on a big canvas sign above the door of the pub: "Meet The Whirlwind". Now I have seen Jimmy White before. When I was living on the south coast White was appearing at the famous White Rock Theatre. He got out of a stretch limo right in front of the building as I happened to be walking by.
White looked like a particularly badly dressed gothic rock star: An ankle length black leather coat, red eyes, vampire pale face carrying his cue like his own personal boxed stake. This pub is a kind of fake Irish/real Australian place. A lot of flags hanging up in there. It says Pogue Mahone's on the sign.
Now, I don't read or write gaelic but I am not sure if that makes any sense. Shane MacGowan taught me that Pogue Mahone means "kiss my arse," but how does the apostrophe and the 's' fit in?
It's like those Japanese t-shirts that have random English words on them. Macgowan himself was on a TV chat show recently. Is it much fun to watch an incoherent drunk dribble and repeat the same joke three times in a row? Drunks on chat shows are something that British TV does well. 1960s soccer legend George Best, made a habit of appearing drunk on TV (and everywhere else too). Best's stock is sinking though, the exclusive line of limited edition George Best trainers are already in TK Maxx selling at 80% off RRP.
Kirk Lake is a writer, musician and filmmaker. His published books include Mickey The Mimic (2015) and The Last Night of the Leamington Licker (2018). His films include the feature films Piercing Brightness (2014) and The World We Knew (2020) and a number of award winning shorts.
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