O U T S I D E L E F T   stay i n d e p e n d e n t

300 Words From London: Spuds You'll Like

Remember that episode of Cheers when Cliff had a potato that looked like Richard Nixon?

get the weekly Outsideleft newsletter
by Lake, Editor, London for outsideleft.com
originally published: February, 2006
...Competition will be tough. I have a potato here that looks exactly like Ringo Starr.
by Lake, Editor, London for outsideleft.com
originally published: February, 2006
...Competition will be tough. I have a potato here that looks exactly like Ringo Starr.

Remember that episode of Cheers when Cliff had a potato that looked like Richard Nixon? Or remember when feeble magazine-style TV shows had a section where they showed fruit or vegetables that looked like people? Wow. Simple fun. Back in the days before GM and chemicals made all our produce look uniform and blemish free it was always fun to find an Elephant Man look-a-like spud or a carrot that had two legs and a huge erection (insert canned laughter).

These days, even organic shops and home-grown allotment produce seems to be devoid of any freakish vegetable mutants. Where have they all gone?

As a kind of deformed vegetable festival there is a celebrity potato contest in London this very weekend. Organised by the Starchy Gallery it's an opportunity for all glamorous potatoes to gather and battle it out to be King Spud.

Unfortunately, judging by previous years, more effort is put into potato decoration and costuming than in actually finding anthropomorphic tubers. This seems like cheating to me. You can put a dress and a blond wig on any potato and stake a claim its Marilyn Monroe. I want to see more like the marvellous Mother Teresa potato: the wrinkled likeness is uncanny.

Entries are open for your own potato and, like the BAFTAs, you don't even need to be there in person. Just send a photo by email. But be warned, competition will be tough. I have a potato here that looks exactly like Ringo Starr.

Starch Gallery

see more stories from outsideleft's Culture archive »»

Lake
Editor, London

the first journalism Lake ever had published was a history of Johnny Thunders for Record Collector magazine, since then he has written for publications including the Guardian, Dazed and Confused, the Idler and more recently, outsideleft.com as you have just seen.

OUTSIDELEFT Night Out 2
 
best LPs of 2019 Bill Callahan... best LPs of 2019
  1. Shepherd in a Sheepskin Vest - Bill Callahan
  2. Return to Me - Lilac Time
  3. 2020 - Richard Dawson
  4. Chalk Hill Blue - Will Burns & Hannah Peel
  5. All Mirrors - Angel Olsen
Sno Aalegra... best LPs of 2019
  1. Shlagenheim - black midi
  2. The Imperial - The Delines
  3. Old New - Tomeka Reid Quartet
  4. Ugh, Those Feels Again - Snoh Aalegra
  5. 5 - Sault
Esther Rose... best LPs of 2019
  1. You Made it this Far - Esther Rose
  2. Hiding Places - billy woods + Kenny Segal
  3. I Found a Place - Bonnie 'Prince' Billy
  4. Thanks for the Dance - Leonard Cohen
  5. Walk Through Fire - Yola
David Benjamin Blower... best LPs of 2019
  1. We Really Did This and We Really Existed - David Benjamin Blower
  2. The Reeling - Brighde Chaimbeul
  3. Eton Alive - Sleaford Mods
  4. Purple Mountains - Purple Mountains
  5. Biiri - Nihiloxica

more stories you really could read...


thumb through the ancient archives:

search for something you might like...


sign up for the outsideleft weekly. a selection of new and archived stories every week. Or less.

View previous campaigns.

Max Richter Music from Woolf Works
Max Richter has surpassed even his own exceptionally high standards
Peindre avec les doigts, la pastelliste Micheline Selbonne
Que vive le Pastel!
Skip Today, Gone Tomorrow
Paul H keeps his head down and surveys British supermarkets, from the ground floor
On The Buses
Cheiron references classic British TV and gets on the Bus in Copenhagen.
Loving the Pole and the Hole
Bob Frank & John Murry's World Without End (Part 1...)
Rolling Stone described Bob Frank and John Murry as "all bullets, blades and guilt without end". Paul H took his chances anyway...
Some of our favorite things...