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Happy Shopper #25 - Guy Samson Haiku Film Reviewer

Often films are way too long. Sometime even reading about them takes too long. Enter Guy Samson. He tells it like it is in exactly 17 syllables.

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by Lake, Editor, London for outsideleft.com
originally published: August, 2008
Never buy a bottle of Champagne at a strip club

Often films are way too long. Sometime even reading about them takes too long. Enter Guy Samson. He tells it like it is in exactly 17 syllables. London based Samson has created a trio of perfectly formed books consisting of films reviewed in haiku. Witty and to the point, Samson packs a lot of information into those 5-7-5 lines. Here's one on Apocalypse Now.

War really is hell -
Over-budget, over-long
And overrated!

It's great stuff. The books: 'Haiku Film Reviews', 'Haiku Sci-Fi Film Reviews' and 'Haiku Horror Film Reviews' are only available by e-mailing Von Blond Publications at lemora@aol.com To learn more about Mr Samson, read on...

1) What was the last electrical appliance you bought?

My Nintendo Wii - best two hundred odd quid I ever spent!

2) How many shoes do you own?

Seven - that's not pairs, just individual shoes.

3) Thinking about only what you are wearing now and including your watch, jewellery and glasses if you wear them, how much would it cost me to get dressed up just like you? And where would I have to go to get the look?

Birthday suit - free; Seiko digital watch I got for my thirteenth birthday; tattoos - about £180, but I can't remember the names of where I got them. Overall look - priceless.

4) What are you going to be eating for dinner tonight?

Probably a pizza from Mister Pumpernink, the best takeaway in West London.

5) What is the most amount you have ever spent on a bottle of wine or other alcoholic beverage and when and where was it?

I have absolutely no idea, I'm usually too drunk to know. Never buy a bottle of Champagne at a strip club though!

6) What and where is your favourite shop?

I love the gift shop at The Science Museum - there's loads of crazy shit there.

7) How do you get around town?

I'm a bit agoraphobic so I don't get out much, but if I have to I'd rather take the bus. Hey Boris, when do we get the Route masters back?

8) Where is your favourite place to holiday?

Slovenia. It's what Europe should be - cheap, friendly, and with all the amenities of home. If you could get a decent cup of tea I'd consider moving there.

see more stories from outsideleft's Fiction & Poetry archive »»

Editor, London

the first journalism Lake ever had published was a history of Johnny Thunders for Record Collector magazine, since then he has written for publications including the Guardian, Dazed and Confused, the Idler and more recently, outsideleft.com as you have just seen.

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